Today I have an essay due, and I actually worked on it prior to today! Crazy right? I also finished my art homework on Monday, and it's due tomorrow. What is with me actually planning ahead? It's pretty awesome whatever it is. But then again, yesterday for Geometry I only had one lesson done. Out of four lessons and a test. But my teacher goes, "Actually, I would rather you not rush on your lessons, so if you can only get one done, that's okay." Cool teacher, right?

I've realized that all I really talk about on here is school. And I probably seem pretty obsessed and boring. But, since I'm homeschool, and I can't drive (because I detest is and I haven't had my permit for long enough), that means I'm stuck at home most of the time. Which really sucks. You don't even know. I love my parents, but I'm one of those people who loves to go places and meet new people. And strangely enough, I can't really do that cause I'm home most of the time. Note the sarcasm please.

I've asked to be put in public school, but that means I would be going to West Meck, which isn't the greatest school in existence. And my parents don't really want me to go to public school. Nothing against public schoolers, they just don't think it's for me. And I do, but I've finally realized that my senior year will not be spent in "regular" school.

I don't even know why I just said all this. Tangent much? Its pretty sad how randomly my brain works. My friend actually asked me to stop switching topics so fast, cause he couldn't keep up. Which I found slightly saddening.

Anyway, my mom gave me permission to decorate the whole house for Christmas after Thanksgiving! I'm superbly excited. Seriously, what is with my brain and tangents? I'm going to go now before my brain gets any crazier.

"This Too Shall Pass"

Alright. I got semi caught up on school... which means, I probably won't be taking a break, cause I don't want to!!!!

No, in fact, I am not three.

Also, don't you love that I said I was taking a break and post three times in one day? Yeah, me too.

I've started listening to the Christmas radio station. (As my friend's 13 year old sister said whilst watching Barney, "Don't you judge me!")

I found this picture. And I love it. You wanna know why? Cause unicorns are the best!


All my tights rip REALLY easily. Probably because I don't take good enough care of my clothes. Sigh.

The whole Apple "wait for this its gonna blow your mind!" thing turning out to be about The Beatles... super disappointing. We thought it'd be announcing Verizon has the iPhone. But this picture of Ringo made me forgive Apple. *I don't condone suicide, I just like to think of it as ironic*


Ok Go produces THE BEST music videos in the existence of everything. Oh and their music is great.



My dog smells like death.

I'm going to bed now. Nighty.

P.S. I apologize for all the labels on this post. I guess I got label happy.

Self-Centeredness

I just got paint on the jeans I'm supposed to wear Sunday. I have loads of Chemistry to finish before tomorrow. I ate lots of M&Ms when I'm trying to lose weight. I i i i i i i is all i ever say on here.

When did we make it acceptable to be super self-centered beings? My friend recently said, "my counselor says I just need to think about myself and since being with my family stresses me out, I shouldn't go home very much." And maybe that will help her, I don't know. But I think if your family is going through a hard time, (even if it stresses you out) you should probably try to help them. Being more self-centered probably won't help that much (in my opinion).

Sometimes I realize how screwed up the world is. Like when I try to see how I could make a boy like me more than my other friends who think he's cute. When I don't even know him very well. When I haven't prayed to see if that's the right thing.

Did anyone else have the realization that other people have their own separate thoughts, lives, friends, etc. I had mine at the age of six, and man, it blew my whole world. It was great.

Now to British Lit (Frankenstein) and Chemistry.

More ramblings

Today I was thinking of all the different influences around me.

Fashionable people who are always putting their two cents in about what looks are "hott this fall" or what colors would look good for your skin tone, or how sequins changed their wardrobe.

Mission conscious people who almost try to guilt others into giving, by saying things like, "do you know that people in Africa could live off the money it took you to buy that coffee you just bought?" or people to really are passionate about what they do, and do make a huge difference, but not by putting you down.

People who live to be satirical and to make people laugh. And who, if they don't make people laugh, don't feel fulfilled.

Blatantly in-your-face-eff-you people who want to shock you and want to show you they can, (and will) argue their case until you have no hope of defending your case and then smirk at you when you try to defend the ideals your parents taught you.

I have these people in my life some way or another. And i love them all. I've gotten to know their little oddities and how to side-step them, (if the case requires it). I'm not saying any of these ways are wrong, (other than the eff-you), but i've been realizing that I don't really make a difference. in some way, most of these people make a difference, whether they make you feel bad, or good, they make you feel something.

Now I may make someone, somewhere feel different (there's that little word again) and I may make a difference in someone other than my family's lives, but do I make a global difference? or even a difference to people who live outside of my city? I don't think so. And that, my friend is depressing.

But that is part of what I'm trying to say when I say that I want to be different. I'm saying that I want to make a difference. Maybe, just maybe, this could be a bit of a start.

P.S. - If you are like any of these people I am not trying to throw you under the bus. I think missions, fashion, debate, and humor are AWESOME. and i love all of them. I just think that sometimes we go about them in the wrong way. Also, these are not the only types of people who influence me, just a few.

different.

today has been rather... blah. not that blah is bad. because blah is nice for a change instead of crazy.

see, i love crazy. we have a great relationship, in which crazy dictates my life a lot.

blah and i rarely meet. see, i sorta feel that when blah wants to get to know me better, i get boring. i don't want to be boring.

so i automatically go to crazy.

which i shouldn't.

but should i go to normal?

or just different?

cause i think normal is sorta like just managing. but different... now i think i could get along real well with different.

different in the sense that i could fade into the background every now and then instead of focusing on me. but not always be the wallflower.

different in the sense that i could start handing out compliments to others instead of begging for them on the metaphorical street corners.

so. i think its time for different to be my new change. for people to say, "hey, now, she's different. but in a good way."

was there a point to this post? to be quite frank, i'm not sure. sometimes rambling feels nice.